


Another Miserable Shit

by Petalpistols



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Drabbles, F/M, Grief, Loss, Well - Freeform, fuck u jamie, hey uhhh season 8 doesn’t exist but also i was mad and wrote a sad thing so here u are, the last two characters are mentioned lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-03-26 07:45:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19001422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Petalpistols/pseuds/Petalpistols
Summary: She should’ve known better than to trust him.





	Another Miserable Shit

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little diddy I wrote in regards to Jamie’s departure/my own thoughts on why he left because fUCK what the creators say. They lost their right to create canon. My canon now.

 

          It wasn’t a matter of if she could trust him, it was why she should. His word was the worth of copper and his intentions gold plated brass. Though he would not cut her down in battle, sharing a bed felt just as dangerous as a dagger edged near the pale swell of her throat. His love was a poison, slow and aching, stealing away her breath while his lips twisted sweet words into convincing lies. He made her feel beautiful, desirable even, and that had been a first for Brienne.

 

          For many years, Brienne had resigned herself to a life with the other half of her bed empty, for fate had played her a cruel hand. With her height overbearing and her stare domineering, men either feared her or looked down on her. The mule-faced warrior, the man-like woman, the bitch with a pretty sword. Although these things poked at her patience like pix-axe to a boulder- she could manage the aggravation, ignore the comments and mocking stares she received. After all, she knew who she was, not what they called her. She was a warrior of the highest caliber. She was well-trained in battle, and a truly powerful woman that carried the heavy weight of honor. No man would ever make her feel less than what she knew she was.

 

_Miserable shits,_ she could hear Renly’s words even now, still remember the way his hands, gentle and kind respectfully held her as they had danced together in circles around the mocking noblemen that could only stop and stare. _Don’t let them get to you._

 

          And she wouldn’t, never again would _miserable shits_ get to her.

 

          Yet there she had been, naked before Jamie. His palm had been rough, calloused from battle as it roamed the slopes of her body as though he were scouting for fresh land to capture. In one night beside the glowing hearth of Winterfell, a Lannister had received a part of her she never thought to give, kissed her with a passion Brienne assumed she would live her entire life without- only to later be discarded for a woman who would risk the destruction of the world to satiate her pride.

 

_She is hateful._ His words were dry and cold as he pushed away her wrist with a weakness she never expected of him. _And so am I._

 

          Perhaps Jamie had hoped playing villain would serve him well, after all, the title suited him. King Slayer, man without honor, sister fucker- but Brienne could no longer believe such pretty lies, not when the truth had hit her harder than any man had.

 

          Though he was no great man, Brienne could see the good past his façade. He had wanted her to hate him, replace the love in her heart for the bitter pang of anger. He had wanted her to want him dead because they both knew neither him nor Cersei would be coming out of that castle alive. He would rather have Brienne believe he was dying as a selfish, hateful beast, than a man still grasping desperately at what was left of his family. He would not stay for Tyrion- no, his brother would manage, he always had. Cersei however was alone, her fate lying beneath the rubble of a castle that no longer held the good intentions of a Kingdom united. She would die alone if he did not go, and Jamie, _recklessly_ , could not abandon her.

 

          He was a poison, concentrated into thick black droplets that burned upon contact. He seeped into her skin and tore her apart from the inside out. And she was mad, _of course_ she was mad, but grief held her anger like a newborn and welcomed the tears that fell like fresh fallen rain from a fat storm cloud. Yes, she was mad. But even more than that, the great, towering Brienne of Tarth also felt so very small. Yet again had a _miserable shit had_ made her feel special for a few short hours.

 

          Only to later bring her to tears. Except now, beneath the blanket of night and the chill of the North, she was left with only her sorrow to keep her company.

 

                                                                                                          _Jamie Lannister,_

_Died protecting his **Queen**_


End file.
